From The Submissive: “Why I Like Bondage”

Regarding the magnificent essay you are about to read from submissive “Penelope” below, I must say it’s a beautiful experience to watch when a submissive literally swoons when she is in Bondage. As Bondage is certainly one of my all-time favorite fetishes, seeing as how I have been tying the knots since early childhood games, I am very well aware of what it does for me, why I find it to be so very HOT, and the ways in which it tantalizes my mind and electrifies my passion during a scene. My love of Bondage is like a faithful companion that has been by my side for a very long time, practically my whole life. While I know this fetish will always be with me in my heart, it is still so wonderful to hear when another, my complement – the submissive – equally appreciates a Deep and Passionate love of bondage as strongly as I do myself. Many BDSM Couples share similar kinks, and it’s always icing on the cake when one’s favorite kinks line up flawlessly from the other side as well. 🙂

As much as I can easily wax poetic about my own love of all things Bondage and the other-worldly beauty of seeing my cherished submissive bound and gagged, tying every knot as she places herself and her trust fully into my hands, I have found it less common for a submissive to be able to eloquently put into words her own experience of being Bound and Gagged, and why this experience, her own beloved fetish, is so incredibly powerful for her. To this end, I gave the assignment to “Persephone,” a particularly well-spoken submissive who truly adores being in Bondage, to describe what she experiences when Bound and Gagged, and why it fulfills her so very much.

I was overwhelmingly surprised and pleased to receive this beautifully written essay from her in response. I found her answers to be not only incredibly descriptive, insightful, and passionately illuminating, but also perhaps one of the best descriptions of the blissfully personal experience of being Bound & Gagged that I have ever read. I was so taken by the beauty of her words that I immediately asked if I could have her permission to re-print her thoughts here for all guests of The Crow Academy site to read.

Thank you “Persephone” for this very kind gift to The Crow Academy.

Enjoy.

“Why do I like bondage and why does it make me feel so good?

I love the aesthetic beauty and artistry of a rope well tied against my skin, or any woman’s body for that matter – it is a truly beautiful sight to behold. Each knot carefully and thoughtfully planned out and executed. I love that even when the rope is removed, red marks are left behind on my skin – a fleeting but welcome reminder of my moments in bondage. I love the duality of the symbolism: that while bound in my shackles, I am completely restrained and at your mercy, but it is in this state that I am free from the burden of choice and decision, and thus my over-active mind is finally quieted and at peace.

This is the why and how of my Bliss – the power exchange that occurs the moment that first knot is applied and tightly fastened around my body and I am no longer in control of anything. There is no worry for me, no concern, no over-analyzing or double-guessing or questioning. Thoreau said, “Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify, simplify.” My mind is ALWAYS over-active, always 3-6 steps ahead of where I am. But when I’m bound and gagged – there are no worries, there are no troubles, only focus: your pleasure. You are in complete control and the decision-maker, and my mind is free and liberated, relaxed and finally at ease. It’s when the rope or chains are applied to my body that my bliss begins – at that moment of surrender to you. It is a unique state of Bliss for me because I cannot think of anything more deep, erotic, and intense than the moment when I yield to your power and control – and fully give myself to you in those moments – mind, body, and soul.

Aside from the mental escape and liberation that bondage affords me, it makes me feel owned – a feeling I very much love. I truly feel a deep inner ache to be owned and possessed by the right Dom, and nothing proclaims a Dominant’s notion of MINE quite like my being tied and gagged – it gives me a whole new physical awareness of my place with you.

I love being used for your pleasure. I enjoy the feeling of being objectified to a fucktoy, to have you teach me of my pricelessness outside of a scene only to show me my worthlessness while I’m bound, gagged and being violated like a dirty slut, strictly for your sexual gratification. The state of being bound and gagged delivers a whole new sense of enslavement and such objectification: I’m now relegated to communicating in feeble nods, muffled moans and pathetic whimpers. I’ve simply become a vessel of your pleasure, tied to your liking, completely open and exposed: always available to you to be fucked and used at your whim.

At the risk of sounding conceited, being bound tightly feels good because it makes me feel, well – wanted. There’s something so symbolic and erotic about a man wanting a woman so much that he literally SHACKLES her, be it with ropes or heavy chains, and uses her to satiate his greedy lust and darkest desires. I live for those moments. He is physically proclaiming me as his in that moment, his property and possession – objectified to fucktoy status and meant to be used, fucked, filled, taken. I looove the feeling of knowing that you can and will do anything with me to satisfy your hungers and sexual needs. One of the most rewarding feelings for me is indeed knowing that I have fulfilled your lust and pleased you. It pleases me immensely knowing that you derive pleasure from my body and that you feed on me to quench your lust and primal needs. There’s just something so animalistic, raw, and base when a man forcefully takes a woman in that way and does what he wishes with her. It almost harkens back to the cavemen days, when men clubbed women over the head and dragged them back to their caves (maybe the crude precursors to the modern day dungeons / lairs lol). Except modern-day BDSM brings those primal aspects together soooo beautifully and elegantly – but the animal needs are clearly still represented there. I think on some level all women feel and desire being taken in that way, but clearly that slave core and deep ache to please is more pronounced in some women (submissives) than in others, and of course some women don’t feel that need at all or perhaps reject it or fail to recognize that aspect of themselves. I for one definitely love being properly violated and defiled.

And not to state the obvious – but of course I’m not speaking in generalizations here, obviously this is for the few, few FEW Doms / men who pass muster, I definitely don’t like being defiled by just anyone! With that said, trust is huge obviously. There’s a crazy intense connection formed in knowing that you could pretty much destroy me if you really wanted to – but trusting that you won’t. For me, that applies to not just the physical part, but equally (and oftentimes more importantly), the mental, emotional, and psychological aspect of BDSM and everything we do under that umbrella. Simply stated, without trust there is nothing.

On the lighter end of the spectrum, the feeling of helplessness and sense of peril are just plain fun! Maybe it has something to do with wanting to be the damsel-in-distress (except not the part about being rescued from the villain – Stockholm Syndrome much??). I keep coming back to the rush of emotion and intensity that comes from being in this situation of helplessness, I guess few things or situations elicit that ‘rush’ of reaction from me. The sense of peril and victim role play and pending threats/doom definitely make for very intense play, like with the shock knives – even though I like them I’ll still always squirm and scream every time you torture me by crackling it in my ear, sometimes it’s followed by a slice along my skin and sometimes you just torture me and put it away without doing anything! The taunting, teasing and torturous threats just build up the energy and tension more and more until that final release. I guess INTENSITY is what I’m getting at here, I like the intensity.

Do I start to fantasize when bound? Gagged? Not really to be honest, I’m just pretty focused on you, your movements, where you are, what you’re possibly pulling out, trying to figure out which toy you’re using next, where you’re going to use it, etc. My mind doesn’t wander a whole lot when in-scene or in bondage.

Pretty much anytime outside of bondage though, I’m thinking about bondage.” 🙂